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Honestly, a lot of the human etiquette I learned in life I learned from, like, thank-you notes and dating Jimmy Kimmel.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Learned
Human
Humans
Etiquette
Life
Jimmy
Like
Dating
Thank
Honestly
Notes

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
Roseanne Barr
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I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
Roseanne Barr
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
Roseanne Barr
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
Roseanne Barr
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Roseanne Barr
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
Roseanne Barr
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
Roseanne Barr
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
Roseanne Barr
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
Roseanne Barr
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
Roseanne Barr
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr