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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Drugs
Horrible
Drug
Stage
Funny
Thing
Polar
Fright
Perform

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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
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If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
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Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
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To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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