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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Perform
Drugs
Horrible
Drug
Stage
Funny
Thing
Polar
Fright

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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
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Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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My grandmother ... came here, not only like so many others because of the streets 'being paved with gold' and all, but because she wanted to leave the place where the streets were paved with people who had not gone to America.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
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