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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Housewife
Goddess
Domestic
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
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A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
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In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children, animal and humans with the stolen money we have recovered.
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
Roseanne Barr
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr