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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 71
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Expertly
Instrument
Instruments
Body
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
Roseanne Barr
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My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
Roseanne Barr
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
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A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
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Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!
Roseanne Barr
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
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I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
Roseanne Barr
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr
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Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
Roseanne Barr
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There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
Roseanne Barr
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
Roseanne Barr
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
Roseanne Barr
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Roseanne Barr
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
Roseanne Barr
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
Roseanne Barr
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr