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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Instruments
Body
Play
Expertly
Instrument
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
Roseanne Barr
US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
Roseanne Barr
I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
Roseanne Barr
Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
Roseanne Barr
I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
Roseanne Barr
In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
Roseanne Barr
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Roseanne Barr
I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
Roseanne Barr
Laugh every day as much as you can.
Roseanne Barr
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Roseanne Barr
I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
Roseanne Barr
