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Laugh every day as much as you can.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Laugh
Laughing
Much
Every
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
Roseanne Barr
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
Roseanne Barr
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
Roseanne Barr
Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word housewife. I prefer to be called domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
Roseanne Barr
I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
Roseanne Barr
There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
Roseanne Barr
My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
Roseanne Barr
Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
Roseanne Barr
Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
Roseanne Barr
I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
Roseanne Barr
I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
Roseanne Barr
I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
Roseanne Barr
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr
