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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Doesn
Happens
Women
Doughnut
Good
Lump
Men
Lumps
Like
Created
Happen
Guy
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
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I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
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My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
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I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
Roseanne Barr
