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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Doesn
Happens
Women
Doughnut
Good
Lump
Men
Lumps
Like
Created
Happen
Guy
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
Roseanne Barr
To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
Roseanne Barr
I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
Roseanne Barr
I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
Roseanne Barr
I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
Roseanne Barr
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
Roseanne Barr
I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
Roseanne Barr
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
Roseanne Barr
This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr
Laugh every day as much as you can.
Roseanne Barr
I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
Roseanne Barr
Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
Roseanne Barr
I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
Roseanne Barr
We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
