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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 71
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Women
Doughnut
Good
Lump
Men
Lumps
Like
Created
Happen
Guy
Doesn
Happens
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
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I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
