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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Kids
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Done
Parenting
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
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politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
Roseanne Barr
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
Roseanne Barr
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Roseanne Barr
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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
Roseanne Barr
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Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
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If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
Roseanne Barr
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
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My grandmother ... came here, not only like so many others because of the streets 'being paved with gold' and all, but because she wanted to leave the place where the streets were paved with people who had not gone to America.
Roseanne Barr
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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
Roseanne Barr
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
Roseanne Barr