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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Clever
Sears
Mom
Housekeeping
Makes
Chores
Mother
Housework
Going
Vacuums
Vacuum
Household
Ride
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
Roseanne Barr
US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
Roseanne Barr
I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.
Roseanne Barr
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
Roseanne Barr
Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
Roseanne Barr
I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr
politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
Roseanne Barr
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
Roseanne Barr
I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
Roseanne Barr
Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
Roseanne Barr
I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
Roseanne Barr
I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
Roseanne Barr
