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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Milk
Refrigerators
Drinking
Placing
Solve
Socks
Problems
Patriarchy
Simple
Sock
Qualitatively
Problem
Picking
Carton
Back
Cosmos
Refrigerator
Even
Unable
Impotent
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
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TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
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Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!
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Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
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