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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Thinking
Prison
Married
Three
Trying
Going
Never
Would
California
Think
Strikes

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
Roseanne Barr
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I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
Roseanne Barr
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
Roseanne Barr
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr
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I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
Roseanne Barr
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I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.
Roseanne Barr
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
Roseanne Barr
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My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.
Roseanne Barr
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
Roseanne Barr
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Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
Roseanne Barr
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
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Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.
Roseanne Barr
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
Roseanne Barr
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
Roseanne Barr
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
Roseanne Barr
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
Roseanne Barr
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr