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I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Comic
Supposed
Laugh
Makin
Laughing
Thinkin
Came
Outrage
Part
Shake
Make
People
Shakes
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Roseanne Barr
This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr
Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
Roseanne Barr
I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
Roseanne Barr
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
Roseanne Barr
I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
Roseanne Barr
Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
Roseanne Barr
The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
Roseanne Barr
Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
Roseanne Barr
'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
Roseanne Barr
You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.
Roseanne Barr
I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.
Roseanne Barr
Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together.
Roseanne Barr
We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
Roseanne Barr