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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Government
Jokes
Wells
Adults
Firsts
Raised
Well
Worked
First
Husband
Hard
Marriage
Bankrupt
Real
Happened
Cheese
Writing
Write
Adult
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children, animal and humans with the stolen money we have recovered.
Roseanne Barr
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr