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I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Make
Spend
Life
Wouldn
Movies
Movie
Stars
Living
Trailers
Used
Anymore
Live
Star
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
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I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
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I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
Roseanne Barr
My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
Roseanne Barr
