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I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Asks
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Humorists
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Comics
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr
My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
Roseanne Barr
Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
Roseanne Barr
Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Roseanne Barr
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
Roseanne Barr
Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
Roseanne Barr
There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
Roseanne Barr
Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
Roseanne Barr
To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
Roseanne Barr
Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word housewife. I prefer to be called domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
Roseanne Barr
Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
Roseanne Barr
I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
Roseanne Barr
