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I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Think
Comics
Thinking
Offer
Solutions
Supposed
Questions
Offers
Asks
Whatever
Humorists

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.
Roseanne Barr
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
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