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I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Offers
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Whatever
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr
There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.
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Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
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TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
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I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
Roseanne Barr
