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Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Thinking
Another
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Droning
Like
Persons
Humanity
Blog
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Start
Experiment
Self
Dies
Failed
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Read
Experiments
Never
Everyone
Lonely
Would
Write
Exciting
Think
Else
Certainly

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
Roseanne Barr
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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
Roseanne Barr
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
Roseanne Barr
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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
Roseanne Barr
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Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!
Roseanne Barr
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
Roseanne Barr
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
Roseanne Barr
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
Roseanne Barr
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
Roseanne Barr
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I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
Roseanne Barr
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
Roseanne Barr
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
Roseanne Barr
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Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.
Roseanne Barr
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr