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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Rich
Better
Way
Blessed
Saying
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
Roseanne Barr
Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
Roseanne Barr
Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
Roseanne Barr
I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
Roseanne Barr
My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
Roseanne Barr
I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
Roseanne Barr
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
Roseanne Barr
I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
Roseanne Barr
I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
Roseanne Barr
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
Roseanne Barr
Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together.
Roseanne Barr
I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
Roseanne Barr
Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr