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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Blessed
Saying
Rich
Better
Way

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
Roseanne Barr
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
Roseanne Barr
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politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
Roseanne Barr
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
Roseanne Barr
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Roseanne Barr
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
Roseanne Barr