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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Parents
Parent
Meant

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
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