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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Differences
Either
Tell
Sometimes
Mentally
Jewish
Ill
Difference

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
Roseanne Barr
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
Roseanne Barr
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
Roseanne Barr
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
Roseanne Barr
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Roseanne Barr
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
Roseanne Barr
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I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
Roseanne Barr
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Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!
Roseanne Barr