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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Writer
Stand
Thought
Wanted
Way
Always
Perform
Wrote

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
Roseanne Barr
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
Roseanne Barr
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
Roseanne Barr
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr