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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 71
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Women
Signed
Agreement
Mutual
Suicide
Sign
Husband
Marriage
Pact
Didn
Suicidal
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
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A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
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I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
Roseanne Barr
