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If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Giving
Vodka
Make
Lemons
Life
Jokes
Gives
Somebody
Party
Funny
Find
Lemonade
More quotes by Ron White
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
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It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
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I don't do any corporate work.
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From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
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I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White