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If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Find
Lemonade
Giving
Vodka
Make
Lemons
Life
Jokes
Gives
Somebody
Party
Funny
More quotes by Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White