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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Throbbing
Stunned
Pause
Pauses
Bigs
Hard
Men
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More quotes by Ron White

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I don't do any corporate work.
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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
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I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
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You can't fix stupid.
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
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I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
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It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
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Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
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I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White