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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Order
People
Surgery
Aids
Hearing
Ears
Stupid
Eyes
Eye
More quotes by Ron White
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
