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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Ears
Stupid
Eyes
Eye
Order
People
Surgery
Aids
Hearing
More quotes by Ron White
I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
Ron White
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
