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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Aids
Hearing
Ears
Stupid
Eyes
Eye
Order
People
Surgery
More quotes by Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White
