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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
People
Surgery
Aids
Hearing
Ears
Stupid
Eyes
Eye
Order
More quotes by Ron White
From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
Ron White
Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
