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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Years
Houston
Range
Driving
Dad
Used
Back
Take

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You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
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From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
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I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
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You can't fix stupid.
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In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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