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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Throw
Jokes
Couldn
Firsts
First
Ems
Done
Twelve
Years
Album
Albums

More quotes by Ron White

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In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
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Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
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I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
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It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
Ron White
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I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
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From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White
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I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
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I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
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If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White