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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Throw
Jokes
Couldn
Firsts
First
Ems
Done
Twelve
Years
Album
Albums

More quotes by Ron White

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If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
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I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
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I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White