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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Firsts
First
Ems
Done
Twelve
Years
Album
Albums
Throw
Jokes
Couldn

More quotes by Ron White

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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
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I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
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I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
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I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
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From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White