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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Years
Album
Albums
Throw
Jokes
Couldn
Firsts
First
Ems
Done
Twelve

More quotes by Ron White

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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
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I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
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I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
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From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
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In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
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I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
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If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White