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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Ron White

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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Years
Album
Albums
Throw
Jokes
Couldn
Firsts
First
Ems
Done
Twelve

More quotes by Ron White

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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
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I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
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I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
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Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.
Ron White
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
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I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
Ron White
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
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You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
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I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
Ron White
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.
Ron White
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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
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You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White