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The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Turn
Team
Probably
Movie
Almost
Laughed
Turns
Throw
Thought
Hardest
America
Gonna
More quotes by Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
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You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
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We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
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When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
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You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White
I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.
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I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
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Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
Ron White
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White
