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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
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Ron White
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 18
Actor
Politician
Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fritch
Texas
Ronald Dee White
Make
Party
Uplifting
Life
Funny
Encouraging
Inspirational
Drinking
Given
Jokes
Find
Whose
Giving
Gives
Lemonade
Trying
Humor
Vodka
Believe
Somebody
Lemons
More quotes by Ron White
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!
Ron White
From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.
Ron White
When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Ron White
I don't do any corporate work.
Ron White
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid.
Ron White
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
Ron White
We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid!
Ron White
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff.
Ron White
I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.
Ron White
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
Ron White
You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White