I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.

Cats virtually always underestimate human intelligence just as we, perhaps, underestimate theirs.

Who can go to a rodeo and then criticize the hunter? ... an expertly placed bullet would be the best gift a rodeo horse could receive.

It's our mortality that terrifies us, because what we're really seeking is immortality - that is, after all, a fool's errand.

Being patted is what it is all about.

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.

I am as confounded by dogs as I am indebted to them.

It looks like a miniature hippopotamus with badly-fitting panty hose all over.

Try throwing a ball just once for a dog. It would be like eating only one peanut or potato chip. Try to ignore the importuning of a Golden Retriever who has brought you his tennis ball, the greatest treasure he possesses!

Two would actually do it- two magic words that could replace all the religions in the world- two wonderful words that embrace all the powers and all of the energy we need to survive with each other and with our planet and with all the world's living creatures- don't hurt.

Why cat were given such terrific peripheral vision when they spend so much time looking down their noses is difficult to understand.

There are only three sins - causing pain, causing fear, and causing anguish. The rest is window dressing.

Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible.