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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Behind
Guy
Tell
Laughs
Keep
Wanna
Two
Paying
Going
Car
Behinds
Laughing
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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