Quote

You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Guy
Tell
Laughs
Keep
Wanna
Two
Paying
Going
Car
Behinds
Laughing
Behind

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield