Quote

You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.

Rodney Dangerfield

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Going
Car
Behinds
Laughing
Behind
Guy
Tell
Laughs
Keep
Wanna
Two
Paying

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Image
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Rodney Dangerfield