Quote

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

Rodney Dangerfield

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Asked
Parents
Parent
Cop
Child
Hide
Lost
Beach
Find
Lots
Children
Ugly
Places

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Image
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Man, who don't like spaghetti?
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
Rodney Dangerfield