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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sex
Groups
Wife
Kidding
Screwed
Jury
Group
Fronts
Front
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
