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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sex
Groups
Wife
Kidding
Screwed
Jury
Group
Fronts
Front
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
