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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Teeth
Gave
Told
Four
Others
Cavities
Tooth
Dentist
Match
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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