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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Others
Cavities
Tooth
Dentist
Match
Teeth
Gave
Told
Four
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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I don't get no respect
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
