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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Teeth
Gave
Told
Four
Cavities
Others
Tooth
Dentist
Match
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
