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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Afford
Till
Christmas
Wait
Couldn
Sneezed
Waiting
Tinsel
Time
Grandpa
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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