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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Till
Christmas
Wait
Couldn
Waiting
Sneezed
Time
Tinsel
Grandpa
Afford
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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